Sleepless before Shawano

I had a sleepless night last week.

Monday was the night before the pilot GED FastTrack course in Shawano. The course was prepared (as much as you can prepare a brand-new course) and all that was needed was the hour to come and the students. Yet discouraging scenarios replayed themselves in my mind's eye like a 3-minute loop of an audio tape. I understand that that analogy is dated, but how does one loop a dvd or iTunes snippet? Sometimes the old similes work the best. Let's just say that I couldn't sleep.

I wasn't really worried about presenting the course. I have had more than five year's experience teaching and am now fairly confident that I can work myself out of most classroom situations. I have also had more than 20+ years of amateur theater experience and have never found a scene that couldn't be saved. No, the presentation wasn't the worry. What worried me was the responsibility I had assumed for initiating this pilot. This is a responsibility to my students and to the school. Both of those parties put a great deal of faith that the instructor will effectively deliver the instruction. I didn't want to disappoint.

I am very aware that students have certain expectations. This group of students had signed up for an accelerated GED program. What if my lessons weren't effective? What if they didn't help the students, or even worse, what if the lessons discouraged them from pursuing their own education? A course can be a de-motivator as well as a motivator. Once a course began, I know classes have a way of settling out, but the night before a new course? That's when the doubts and worries seem more real than the actual course.

That's when you don't sleep.