Sunday, January 29, 2017

The Reason We Were Shopping Shopping

I pushed an artificial grocery cart: a gray plastic replicate that looked like it had been molded and assembled through an off-planet 3D printer. Real metal wire grocery carts, the kind I remember chasing across the Red Owl parking lot during my first time-card job as a bag boy, always had one wheel that had a distinctive limp: duh-dump, duh-dump, duh-dump.

This grocery cart was unnaturally silent, gliding, not rolling, along the aisles of the big beautiful new Festival Foods store with wide aisles, good lighting, clean cases and bright-eyed and helpful staff stocking, prepping and polishing. As we passed them, they looked at my wife and I with some curiosity since an hour into the grocery trip, our cart replicate was still empty. “Can we help you find something?” they asked. We smiled, “No, we are fine.”

We had a list, talked about items on the shelves, pulled some out to look at cost/ounce but did not put them in our cart. We were grocery store shopping shopping. The Wednesday afternoon tour seemed like a retired-couple joke with the punch line of finding Metamucil in aisle thirteen. The reason we were shopping shopping was our previous store of more than 20-years had been sold to a chain from the Valley. During the six month remodeling and transition, we stuck with the same old store, same old staff, but different generic labels in good humor. We are loyal but do have limits.

When we couldn’t find an item that was always next to the pimentos, top shelf aisle six, we rationalized, “They’ll have it next week.” But a number of favorite food items ran out and did not return. Each week more and more items could not be found. One time, it even took two long-time clerks to discover where the molasses had been tucked away. Finally, when the local bank’s ATM was pulled and replaced with a sad looking fee-based machine that you find in discount liquor stores, we decided it time to go elsewhere.

“Where is the shredded cheese?” my wife asked, looking at her grocery list template organized by the aisles of our old store. There were 12-ounce tubs of shredded Parmesan in the artesian cheese section in front of us, but not the wide selection of blue-labeled Kraft brands hanging vertically from hooks. In the old store, they were just past the dairy section. They would be here too, if we could find the dairy section.

Two hours later, our hover-cart was empty though our shopping list note was filled with scratch-outs, additions and corrections. I think some of the staff were assigned to follow us. Aisle numbers were penciled in on our grocery list template according to the layout of the new store. Once we were home, the notes would be cut and pasted into a new list according to our most common purchases and the movement through aisles of the new store. Did I mention we work well with lists?

Festival Foods has a well-polished produce and fruits section for those who like to eat fresh. Also notable are well-stocked and logically ordered ethnic food options, an artesian bakery, local wines and craft beers, a large deli and meat counter, and a very nice fresh seafood selection, which is not easy to maintain sitting between the two coasts. For busy families, they have cases upon cases of frozen pizza and for those who have the time, fresh pizza dough.

And they do have dairy, on the far, far wall.

Our only complaint, so far, is minor and peculiar to us. Coupon inserts are found in a rack as you enter the store, not in the local paper (millenials ask, “What's a local paper?”). You look at the insert to find items to buy, add them to your list, and then hand the insert to the cashier as you check out to get discounts. This is a very European method when families who have little storage space, shop for groceries every day and adjust their menus on the fly. One often sees loaves of French bread sticking out of recycled sacks on the Paris metro.

That’s not us as you might have guessed. We want good, reliable food selections, we like to prepare our meals together with fresh products, but we need to plan around a busy dual-schedule in advance. Far in advance of picking up coupons as we walk in. Grocery visits need to be fast, efficient and weekly. The hover cart is a bonus.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Inaugural Oath No. 58

I resolved to focus on the process and not be distracted by the politics of last Friday’s Presidential Inauguration. Like most people, I have been in school or working during last 15 Inaugurations of my lifetime, so have only seen its history in bits and pieces. Never the whole ceremony. I wanted to remember this one.

As I clicked through channels on Friday morning, I wasn’t interested combative intensity of the CNN panel and my TV kept shutting off when I tuned to FOX News– I don’t know what that was about. I found other networks commentators chawed over the November election results rather than reporting on this day. That was annoying. CBS seemed reliable and respectful (I still think of it as Uncle Walter’s place), so I stayed with Scott Pelley and Bob Schieffer through most of the day.

I tuned in just as the Presidential and Vice-Presidential couples were leaving the White House after a traditional tea to drive to the Capitol. As Mr. Trump and Mr. Obama drove off, the CBS team noted that this would be the last time the two of them would be alone together before the oath. What would they talk about? World hotspots, the strength of the dollar or that the second floor toilet in the residence needs to have its handle jiggled just right to get it to stop running?

Once at the Capitol stage, it was interesting to see the power pecking order within the federal leadership through the seating chart. Four of the five ex-presidents had good seats (George HW Bush and Barbara wanted to be there but were restricted by doctor’s orders). Members of the Supreme Court had a clear view as did majority and minority leaders of the House and Senate. A Green Bay Packer hat appeared some rows back and up -- Rep. James Sensenbrenner from Wisconsin I learned later. I didn’t see a Georgia representative, other than President and Mrs. Carter, and they were not wearing Atlanta Falcons head gear.

The Trump and Pence families took up many of the first couple of rows on the left hand side of the aisle. A young daughter of Mr. Pence and young son of Mr. Trump looked bored by it all. Lots of sighing going on there. I thought that Melania and Ivanka had a similar cut of coat, so I wondered out loud if it was the same design with just a different color. That would be practical, I thought. My wife practically fell out of her chair, laughing. I guess not.

Senator Roy Blunt of Missouri was an able master of ceremonies before a crowd that was respectable for a rainy forecast and divided country, but not near the fantastic numbers claimed later. I don't see why that matters. The Senator put the ceremonies in historical context for everyone. He said that the Inauguration should not be  “the celebration of (electoral) victory but (a celebration) of democracy instead.”

He then introduced Justice Clarence Thomas who administered the vice-presidential oath to Mr. Pence, and Chief Justice Roberts who administered the 35-word presidential oath to Mr. Trump. President Trump’s short Inaugural Address (16-minutes) followed. After a few more prayers, the ceremony was adjourned. People on the balcony filed into a congressional luncheon. Michelle and President Obama flew to Palm Springs and Dr. Jill and Vice President Biden took the Amtrak to Delaware. After the lunch the new president and his family were released for a parade down Pennsylvania Ave., Inaugural Balls, and checking on the second floor bathroom. 

And that was it.

An ending and a beginning, yet also a peaceful transition within a republic that reaches back to 57 other executive oaths that crowds of various sizes have witnessed. Some of those oaths marked major epic changes in our country, and some a policy of normalcy. After only the first few hours of this administration, it is hard to know what the next four years will bring. As armchair commentators, we can try to guess, but history always has the final say. And though history teases us, it does take its time with the reveal.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Slip Sliding on the Frozen Tundra

I do like wintertime. I do, I do, I do like wintertime.

This self-pep talk comes after a second day of chipping ice caused by sleet and rain on top of 3-4-inches of snow. Now, I'm not really complaining about the snow. It prettys up the winter landscape. I'd rather have a smooth white blanket in the yard than three months of mud and debris. And, even the big 12-18-inch storms are no more than a morning's work if you have the right tools. Experienced Wisconsinites do have the tools.

Heavy wide-blade steel shovels are used for scraping and pushing snow to the side of the driveway or walkway (only renters, new homeowners or NFL offensive linemen try to toss snow with these shovels). Square, flat-blade aluminum shovels (much lighter) are designed for that turn and toss motion. Non-scratch non-metallic plastic shovels are used for decks and other scratch-able surfaces.

My prize snow-possession, for the heaviest loads (usually after a caravan of snowplows dump two lanes of packed snow back into my driveway) is the Yooper Scooper. This is a wide two-foot scoop bolted to a three-foot u-shaped handle that moves even the heaviest snow up and out without lifting. “Without lifting” is always key in snow removal. I saw this tool demonstrated one winter ski-weekend by friends in Houghton, MI, who are snow shovel professionals compared with us amateurs. Green Bay averages 45-50 inches of snow a year compared that to the Upper Peninsula’s season average of almost 190-inches. The UP’s record from the 1978-1979 winter season is 390-inches, more than 32-feet. They really, really like winter up there.

So, even though last week’s snow was the packy, snowman-making kind of snow, the total job (not counting back decks) took only 40-minutes for the two of us  I did use the power snow blower for initial cleaning, but would rather not. Blowing the snow means you’ll have to go over your work again with the shovel to get down to pavement. The depth and moisture content of the snow determines the use of the blower, But snow, as I said, is not a problem. Ice is.

By mid-morning, air temperatures hovered around the freezing mark and turned snow to sleet and then to a driving rain. Because the ground is still quite frozen (a prior week of sub-zero nights will do that) and existing snowbanks from 30-inches of previous snowfalls are two-feet high, the rain and melting snow had no place to go other than draining back onto the sidewalk and down the driveway. When temperatures fell mid-afternoon, we had a problem. 

I retrieved an ice-chipper, a long-handled tool with a three-inch sharpened wedge of steel on the working end, from the far corner of the potting shed and began to break up the ice that was forming under a cold wind. That and sprinkling snow-melt took another 90-minutes. Our house has less concrete than my previous other houses, but there is still a fair amount to shovel.

The next morning shoveled pavement was covered by ice anyway. School was cancelled because of ice (sidewalks were impassible). A week later, over three-quarters of the sidewalks in our neighborhood are still an impassible sheen of glare ice. I have the time (and the ice melt) to clear our share of sidewalk as do other retired and able neighbors. Working families don't have that time, so many sidewalks remain impassible with a 1/2 to 1-inch covering of ice.

Fortunately, the weather that caused the problems to begin with will have mercy on all of us by the end of the week. January thaw temperatures in the 30s and 40s will punch holes in the smooth surface of the ice and undermine it to crumbles of icy snow. We have the tools to handle it after that.

Monday, January 9, 2017

It Only Takes a Jackass to Kick It Down

In less time than the first NFL Wildcard game, my wife and I took down the 2016 Christmas ornaments, mini-lights, and dragged the tree to the front curb. We de-garlanded the front door, wrapped our Santa collectables in tissue, and resorted Christmas totes for storage.

After the totes were carried up to the attic, I considered the time it took to plan, purchase and put up holiday displays as compared to the time it took to take them down:  a couple of weeks up, I’d say, compared to a couple of hours down. Taking something down doesn’t take a lot of time or thought.

Putting up and taking down got me thinking about our national celebration later in the month, the Presidential Inauguration on January 20. Republicans have pledged to mark that day by beginning to repeal eight years of Barack Obama programs and initiatives. If you are a loyal member of the Grand Old Party, that doesn't take a lot of time or thought either.

For the rest of us, let me give a worrisome preview of this repeal and replace philosophy. GOP Speaker Paul Ryan is quoted last week during the first days of the new Congressional session that defunding Medicaid payments to Planned Parenthood (a $400-million budget item) will be part of the initial Congressional Bucket-List Repeal Bill. Planned Parenthood has long been in the GOP bull’s-eye because it unapologetically advocates the pro-choice side of the abortion issue.

Now Medicaid cannot, according to law, directly fund Planned Parenthood abortions. It does, however, support family planning, contraceptives, cancer screening, and treatment of STDs for hundreds of thousands of low-income women. If Planned Parenthood Medicaid payments are stopped, 400,000 women across the nation will lose access to this health care according to the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office, 

A spokesman for Rep. Ryan said not-to-worry though: the $400-million will be distributed to other providers so “that patients would have continue to have the opportunity to receive care.” Who these providers are, where these providers are and how low income women can access these providers are details that need to be worked out, it seems.

After a divisive national election, the GOP majority needs to realize that their job description has changed. It’s no longer their job to complain, criticize and condemn. That was their role during the Obama years and they did it very well. Now Mr. Ryan and Mr. Trump have a much harder job, that of crafting specific, measured, detailed legislation that upholds our Constitutional rights, and protects and serves everyone. This Planned Parenthood decision is just one of hundreds that will have to be considered in the next year which will have consequences for millions of Americans, not just the GOP primary base. When you assume the power, you also assume the responsibilities.

One would hope that after the GOP packs away its 2016 presidential campaign banners, bunting, and bluster until 2020, they would want to pause during the Inaugural Pomp and Circumstance before doing anything rash and consider the fact that it will be much harder to replace something than it will be to take it down. I recall a quote attributed to either Sam Rayburn or Lyndon Johnson in the 1960s critical of segregationists who wanted to tear down landmark Civil Right legislation: “It just takes a jackass to kick down a barn, but it takes a carpenter to build it back up again.”

Which role does the GOP want to assume during the next four years?